Otherwise known as Overheard In the Walmart Customer Service Line…
Woman in front of me: You know, if they don’t stop soon the whole store will be covered with those instruction signs.
Me: Huh?
Woman in front of me: The ones up there, telling you how to do refunds, they’re already in at least one other language, what is that, Spanish?
Me: (after noticing the billboard sized YOU MUST HAVE A RECEIPT sign) Yeah, that’s Spanish. I hadn’t noticed till you said something, actually.
Woman in front of me: Well, there are a lot of (sic) Mexicans so I guess they have to have Spanish, but what is next? There are a lot of Indians too, so I guess they’ll have Indian up there.
Me: (not responding due to the tone I heard in her voice)
Woman in front of me: I mean, this is America. We speak English here. If you are going to come here and live you should learn English so we don’t have to re-do all our signs in fifteen different languages.
Me: (still not responding and trying to figure out why she decided to tell me this in the conspiratorial tone that makes me think SHE thinks I’d agree with her)
Woman in front of me: (after finally noticing that I was not responding and very obviously trying not to look mortified at her words) Well, maybe it’s just me, but we do speak English in this country.
English…and Spanish…and French…and Hindi…and Cherokee…and Russian…and American Sign Language…but hey, who needs diversity…