FTH Oopsie Daisy, 14 August 2004 – 2 December 2016

She truly was transcontinental.

You know, I’m sitting here staring at the blank screen and can’t even bring myself to type the words that she’s gone…and she’s been gone for two months now.  I still expect to come home and hear her whistling from the bedroom, demanding that I hurry up and let her out. But the whistle has fallen silent.

I listen for her toenails on the hardwood floors and remember how, when we lived in the UK, she made no sound at all on the carpet and could sneak up on me, suddenly jamming that needle nose into my ear and exhaling. There’s nothing in my ear now, no cold nose or loud exhalation of warm doggie breath. It’s just silent.

I call the other two dogs by her name and they look at me, with a mixture (I think) of confusion and sadness, wondering simultaneously who I am talking to and where Daisy is. I wonder that too.  Is she with the Fab Five Plus Clowny? Are they now the Magnificent Seven? I don’t get answers, though. As always, my Bridge Pack is silent.

We see things that she would have loved, go to places that made her happy, and the memories are sometimes so strong that I can smell her Frito Feet and feel her nose pressed up against my neck, as she would do to make sure of me. I think for a moment that I can hear her Snappy Jaw that should have struck fear, but didn’t, not in me…but there is no snappy jaw, not anymore. Everything is silent.

She was a larger sized female for her breed, but she was Bryn’s Little Big sister.  She was a good foot taller than Willow, and lorded that size over her Little Little Sister. They still run and play and I can hear their tags jangling as they bound up and down the stairs. But Daisy’s tags, still on her purple dragonfly collar, remain silent.

I want a do-over.  I want more time. I want for her to not have suffered through the heart murmur and the heart disease and the Lasix. I want to take her to Ireland and to Canada. I want her to have the jacket with all the little patches from everywhere she was able to visit. All these things I want…and all she wanted was to be able to rest.  Rest well, my world traveler, my Psycho Puppy Girl, my Angel…my Mei Mei.  You earned it.  I just wish it wasn’t so silent around here.

You Days of Our Lives Jinxed It, Didn’t You?

Mommy, did you say GO? by Nancy Dunne
Mommy, did you say GO?, a photo by Nancy Dunne on Flickr.

If you are not familiar with the Days of Our Lives Jinx phenomenon, let me briefly explain. I watched Days from the time I was in pre-school until about four years ago, so I consider myself somewhat of a home-grown expert on soap opera plot construction, at least for American soaps. I also should mention that I just did the math on that, and I spent an incredibly HUGE chunk of my life in the fictional town of Salem…and I’m not sure whether I’m impressed by my own loyalty or horrified that I’ve just admitted that in public.

Right, so on to the Jinx: You can always tell on Days that a major plot twist is coming when a character utters something in terms of absolutes. I’ll give you an example. “Nothing can ever come between us again!” is the signal that the third member of the love triangle is about to arrive in town. “Your prognosis is beyond excellent and I’m sending you home today!” means that this character will be in hospice by the holidays. That sort of thing is the Jinx, and I have a hard time avoiding it in my real, non-soap life.

I seem to have done it again, on a grand scale. Remember that post before, about how we had sold our house? The buyer backed out. So, all of that “we are on the path to happiness” business of last week is now replaced with “hello, Square One, fancy meeting you here, AGAIN.”

I chose today’s picture because it’s a visual reminder of the Days of Our Lives Jinx which is loosely related to the adage about counting chickens too early…and because it’s my Hunky Man, whom I miss desperately. Ugh. I need a do-over.

SOLD! Almost…

Yep, after almost four years of waiting and tidying and waiting and chasing down estate agents for feedback someone wants to buy our house.

Let me say that again, because I’m not sure I believe it yet… SOMEONE WANTS TO BUY OUR HOUSE IN KEIGHLEY!

I’m not sure how I feel. I’m overwhelmed and overjoyed and when you add in that I’m probably overtired I find myself to be a little bit…sad. Yep, as much as I used to scream that I hated that house, I’m sad. It was our first house after we were married. It was the house where I stayed the first time I came to visit Hubs.

But at the same time, everything is coming together in a way that I admit I never thought it would. Hubs has his interview at the end of February, almost a month from today. The buyer wants to take possession of the house in four weeks. I may very well be picking Daisy up from Atlanta in less time than that. It’s all more than I ever thought would happen.

Now to find a place to live so that the four of us aren’t continuing to squat in Anne and Damian’s house…

Hey, did I mention I’m now working at Clemson University? No? Oops. Next blog post. Swear.

Lurve

Lurve by Nancy Dunne
Lurve, a photo by Nancy Dunne on Flickr.

Well, my bags are packed (not really), it’s early morn (in the US), the taxi’s waiting (he’s here for a neighbor I guess), he’s blowin’ his horn (not really, that’s just someone jaywalking)…

I don’t leave till tomorrow, but I am trying to go on and process it today so that tomorrow isn’t so awful. Flying days SUCK, but at least there are some bright spots this time:

I start a new job on Tuesday. More details on that later, as I’m not sure they’ve told everyone else that applied for the position.

We are an interview (and possibly a piece of documentation or two) away from Simon having his green card.

I will be living with my ClownA at least M-F and hopefully more if I can find a place to live that I can afford.

But still, something is tugging at me. This tiny island grabs hold of you with all it has when you let it, and it is so very hard to let go. One day I’ll be back for good, but for now we are ready to start a new chapter living in America. I’ve been ready to start that chapter since May!

See you guys on the other side of a big ocean and a tin bird.

Holiday Greetings and A Countdown, from the Lettuce

Christmas 2010 by Nancy Dunne
Christmas 2010, a photo by Nancy Dunne on Flickr.

In just under 12 hours I will be on my way to my other home, England.

In just under 24 hours I will be in our little house in Keighley, with Simon and Daisy.

It is strange to be leaving on Christmas Eve, when everything in my life has been leading up to today here at Allen Mountain. It is even stranger to think that by this time on Boxing Day my sister and her family will be in the UK as well, and only a few hours down the road.

Happy Christmas to all my Lettuce readers, and a prosperous New Year as well. 2012 is going to bring so much hope and joy and happiness to all our lives…I just know it. Keep warm and safe and happy, y’all.

xx
Nancy

And once again, my universe rights itself…

Smooth Sailing by Nancy Dunne
Smooth Sailing, a photo by Nancy Dunne on Flickr.

I worked a LOT in November. A LOT. Many, many hours. As a result…

I’M GOING TO KEIGHLEY FOR CHRISTMAS!!

I’m sort of chuffed, in case you couldn’t tell? All of my angst and depression goes away when I think that I’ll be with my Mister (and my MeiMei) in just about 22 days. Ho Ho Ho Happy Christmas to me!

Mind you, the flight could have been cheaper, but it wasn’t to be…nor did it matter. See above working a LOT in November. See me grinning like an idiot.

Yeah, so, that’s good news. Yeah. Apologies for the Nancy you’ve come to hate over the past few months. She’s MUCH better now.

There and Back again…and again…


The Dunnes
Originally uploaded by Nancy Dunne

Well, it has been two weeks shy of two months since I’ve seen that handsome devil in the picture with me (taken in May 2010 in York). I was losing hope that I’d see him before Christmas. I was losing my mind. I was losing my grip on politeness and definitely losing my composure.

Today we found a cheap flight…and now my world has righted a bit. I will be back in the UK to visit from 16-31 August. Back with no car. Back on the buses and trains and in taxis. Back at Sainsbury’s and ASDA and eating at Nando’s. Back right next to Mr. Dunne, and you’ll be hard pressed to pull me away from him, at least not for very long.

I can’t wait. I can’t wait for the English voices on the tannoy. I can’t wait for Daisy to be curled up on me on the sofa and Mills to be purring in my hair as I go to sleep at night. My family is the most important thing to me in the world, and I can’t wait for all of us to be on the same continent, even if it is only for two weeks.

Roll on August!