The Traveling Wilburys…err…Lassiters…err…

Here’s a quick summary of the past three weeks of our lives.

4th-6th June

Took time off work to pack and get ready to move, hoping the movers would be available on Friday, 6 June. Wrong. Book them for Saturday, 7 June instead. Took my time doing anything, really, that resembled packing/cleaning until late on Thursday, 5 June when I realized that my parents would be arriving the next morning.

7th June

Movers arrive on time. All goes well until they try to get my sofa, chair, and refrigerator in the house. After much prodding, struggling, and some disassembly, all three items are in place and movers leave. Mom and Dad hang around for a bit and then head home.

(And from the files of this ONLY happens in my family, they were hit by a bear on their way home…at least that’s how Mom tells it. Poor BMW. Poor Bear.)

8th June

Sorted out what’s left of what is now referred to as “The Other House.” Cleaned the front of the house. Stacked all that’s left to be moved (from the front rooms) in the sitting room by the door and vacuum. Looked despairingly at the rec room and headed to “my house” to plug in the cable box and modem and watch TV/surf the net/play Everquest in an attempt to forget about said rec room.

(Did I mention that when I called Charter to transfer my service I found out that the folks that lived here before me never cancelled their service when they moved and I therefore had to wait till I could provide proof that I lived here – a lease – before they would transfer it? Did I also mention that I was advised BY CHARTER to go on and use the connections that were still live in the house until it could get transferred because it was already paid up in full? No? Ah. My bad.)

Plugged in cable box…waited for 12:00 to magically switch to the time. Waited a little longer. Wonderedwhy the box says 105 (BBC America, natch) but nothing is happening on the screen. Found cable wires all over the house and started attaching them one by one to the modem. Wondered why nothing is happening. Called Charter.

Discovered that a. the family that was here before didn’t use Charter for television, hence the black screen on the telly-box and b. that there was at least ONE live connection for the internet somewhere in the house. I just had to find it. Further discovered that when the first Charter employee told me that all I had to do was be at the house when the tech showed up, lease in hand to prove occupancy…well, the nice way to put what he said was that she was wrong. Canceled that appointment…which was a mistake. (Found out later that because it was canceled I now have to start all over with a very long visit to the local Charter office…but thanks to a lovely employee called Maria I’m set for this coming Friday to have my TV and internet back.)

Found hot line for modem. Logged into email and Everquest and happy happy happy. Slept downstairs on the sofa with the dogs around me wondering if this was all going to turn out to be a mistake.

9th- 13th June

Have you ever had to go to work AND try to live out of two houses AND try to move out of one into the other all at the same time with NO television to keep you sane? If not, all you need to know is this…I got a lot of use out of “Oh what FRESH HELL is this?” that week (thank you Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, Episode “The Dumpling Paradox“)…including a trip to Orangeburg, SC, for work that turned out to be a no-show appointment. Boo-YAH.

14th June

Saturday came and went and was largely uneventful. Had a visit from a friend in town on greyhound business. It was not until later on Saturday that I found that my best friend Leah had fallen and broken her ankle. She was in the hospital and would have to have surgery. Kick my anxiety level on up another notch, will ya? Not quite high enough. That news colored everything that came after.

15th June-Father’s Day

Plan: Go to Georgia, arriving 1:30. Have lunch with parents, visit, return home.
Actual events: Receive phone call that house will be shown at 4pm that day even though I didn’t have 24hrs notice and I had no way to get the animals out of the house prior. Spend day trying to be happy and celebrate with my dad but internally churn up enough anxiety to drive me inpatient, convinced that my house was being sold out from under me and that I’d have to move AGAIN. Return home, receive lease and reassuring email from landlord that I’m safe here till December. Much Everquest ensued.

Yesterday and today have been pretty normal workdays. Leah came through her surgery about forty pounds heavier in the foot (steel plate, etc) but otherwise fine. No more fresh hell, at least not for the time being. I got to see the mid season finale of Battlestar Galactica on You Tube. I will say, though, that I may have put myself off The Big Bang Theory by the time I get television up and running on Friday…I’ve watched the same few episodes several times and can quote “The Dumpling Paradox” episode.

“Hey Sheldon, you forgot something!”
“This plasma grenade. Looook! It’s raining you!!”

Getting My ‘Net On

I’m back online, finally! Here’s the Reader’s Digest version of the past two weeks of my life…

Wednesday, 13 September

Receive word that I’ve been approved to rent a house in Montgomery. Simultaneously rejoice and panic over the fact that I pick up the keys and move in on 15 September. Wean myself off the computer and begin stuffing what’s left to be packed into boxes. Unknowingly check the internet at home for the last time until 30 September. Have a visit from Tressy that leaves me bawling uncontrollably over the loss of friends that I just realized comes along with a 2-state move.

Thursday, 14 September

Continue packing. Have help from Katy in the form of lunch and more tape for boxes. Have help from Mom and Daddy in the form of a whirlwind that blows through my tiny house and deposits everything in sight into a box. Pick up the moving truck after driving circles in the parking lot at the rental place trying to find the rental place. Who knew that a truck rental would be housed in an insurance company? One stop shopping there, to be sure…

Start packing the truck with help from Kurt, Scott, and Mom and Daddy until they have to leave to take my stove and their lawnmower back to Georgia. Continue to load truck until 11:30 when, with much gratitude, I release my indentured servants and go to pick up Susan at the Amtrak station. Arrive back at the house and continue to work until we both decide it’s time for bed.

Friday, 15 September

Get up bright and early, feed the dogs, and go grab breakfast at Publix for me and Sooz. Begin again with the packing. Realize to our horror that the beds won’t fit in the truck. Unload, reload, rinse and repeat. Call rental company and advise that I won’t make 2pm pick up time for keys, reschedule for 4pm. Finally take off toward Montgomery, leaving Susan at the house with the truck to wait for parental reinforcements at 11am EST.

Fly down the highway like my rear bumper is on fire. Make it to rental company early, get keys, introduce dogs to office staff, sufficiently enlarge greyhoundy-egos and head for the house. Schedule water to be turned on today.

Arrive at house and spend a few minutes just looking around and getting teary. Find house to be huge, spacious, clean (mostly) and mine. Animals spend a bit of time inspecting the house and then join me in a short nap on the floor. Get up around 6pm CST and head out to find a grocery store for dinner for all of us.

Head down Eastern Blvd after fueling up. Make the mistake of looking too far down the road and miss the fact that the beautiful little black Mazda in front of me has stopped. Turn Element into Urban Assault Vehicle a la Stripes and collide with said Mazda. Spend an hour on the overpass where Eastern Blvd crosses I-85 waiting on the police and frantically worrying about my animals at the house. Am taken to Cracker Barrel by my “Montgomery Family” to eat something but find myself unable to do so. Am taken to Walmart to purchase food and supplies and returned to my new house.

Susan, Mom, and Daddy arrive very late. Mom and Daddy are escorted to their hotel by Bryan and Christy as Susan, Ben, and I take a break on the “loveseat” which is really a window seat. Begin unloading truck upon their return, finish at approximately 3am CST. Dispatch Susan to hotel and go to bed.

Saturday, 16 September

Wake up early because house temperature is mimicking the surface of the sun. A/C continues to refuse to cool the house. Am picked up around 11am by Mom and Daddy and head out to collect Susan. Have lunch and return to house, Susan wisely stays outside and reads to avoid further allergy attack.

Cable guys arrive around 1pm as Mom, Daddy, and Susan head to Georgia. By 3pm they still have not gotten the internet working, and explain that the person that assigns IP addresses is not in the office on Saturday. A/C guy arrives and by midnight house is cooler.

Sunday, 17 September

Continue unpacking. House is now livable, temperature wise. Call and make follow up appointment for Wednesday with cable company. Make online appointment for gas to be turned on so I can take hot showers. Dinner with Montgomery family at Carrabas followed by panic over first day at work.

Monday, 18 September

First day at work. Still taking cold showers. Gas company confirms hook up appointment on Tuesday.

Tuesday, 19 September

Gas company doesn’t show up. Still taking cold showers. Mood rapidly going south.

Wednesday, 20 September

Gas company shows, hot shower incoming. Cable company doesn’t show up. Call to find out what happened, am told that my appointment was rescheduled for Thursday. No explanation as to why.

Thursday, 21 September

Cable guy comes out to look at the problem with my internet. Decides that it is a line problem from the pole to the house. Informs me that line tech will come out on Friday and that I do not have to be here for that to happen. Assures me that I should have internet service by the time I get home Friday evening.

Have minor meltdown over the continued lack of internet service and the fact that I can’t get my dishwasher to work. Cry, yell, and finally decide to go to sleep. Wish that I’d never left Greenville.

Friday, 22 September

Finish first week of new job in high spirits. Am enjoying new co-workers and setting. Arrive home, whistling a happy tune, to find that I still have no internet access. Am pressed for time, having agreed to help Montgomery family move to their respective new homes tonight through Sunday. Call the cable company and talk to yet another tech who, after being a little too snide about the superiority of Apple computers to PC’s, decides that I have a signal problem and need another tech to come out. Order is put in for a tech to come out the following day from 3-5. Help Montogomery family move. Hilarity ensues. Round out the evening with dinner at the Waffle House at 1:30am.

Saturday, 23 September

Unpack a bit and generally be lazy. Wait for cable tech to come out. At 5pm call to find out what happened when no one shows up. Am told that this office doesn’t have anyone that can cover service calls on Saturdays. Am told that there is an outage in my area that started the night before while I was talking to the Macintosh Man. Am told that he would not have known about the outage that was occuring as he was helping me with my still non-existant internet service. Am told to call back at 10pm EST to see if outage has been resolved because that is probably why I don’t have service. Return to help with more moving and cleaning with Montgomery family. Round out the evening with dinner at the same Waffle House, this time at 2am.

Sunday, 24 September

Call cable company to set up appointment. Set appointment for Tuesday afternoon. Am informed by Montgomery family that dinner will be postponed until Monday night. Continue to help pack/move/clean.

Monday, 25 September

Begin second week at new job. After work, join Montgomery family for dinner. Make plans to see “An Inconvenient Truth” on Wednesday evening. Adjourn home.

Tuesday, 26 September

Arrive home after work and wait for cable company. At 7pm, make call to find out why no one showed up. Am told that appointment was rescheduled for Wednesday. Again, no explanation. Begin showing signs of a bad attitude a la last Thursday.

Wednesday, 27 September

Am contacted by cable company at 2:45 to confirm 3-5 appointment. Explain for the millionth time that I don’t get off work until 4:30. Am told that cable company is not allowed to call me when they are on their way to my house (nevermind that they have done that every time prior) but that an exception will be made. Am assured that tech will call when on the way to my house. Continue to work.

Leave work at 4:30 and call cable company to find out why I didn’t get a call. Am told that tech had already been to my house, found no one home, and left. Nearly have an accident due to the sudden rush of blood to my head. Nearly chew out cable employee on phone. Reschedule appointment for Saturday morning at 8am and arrive home. Find note on door that tech arrived at 3:25 but found no one home. Rinse/repeat bad attitude, this time accompanied by mass throwing of things.

Meet Montgomery family at movies at 7:30. Round out the evening with dinner at the same Waffle House, this time at 10pm.

Thursday-Friday, 28-29 September

Work. Watch lots of television. Finally find Target after looking for two weeks. Generally get nothing done due to bad attitude.

Saturday, 30 September

Get considerable amount of unpacking done while cable tech is here. Finally am told that I’m online at 11:30am, two weeks after initial appointment. Stop all that I am doing and become reacquainted with my old addiction, the internet, until about 6:30pm.

Join Christy and Bryan for dog walking and good conversation at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival park at 6:30. Return home around 8:30 and resume internet addiction. Fall into bed at 2am.

So there you have it. I finally feel like I’m moved in now that I’m again connected to the rest of the world through my computer. And now that I’ve spend a good hour composing this post, I’m going to detach from my desk chair and do a bit more work on my den…maybe…