I waxed poetic in my last post about how long it has taken me to get to this point – years of living with this story and these characters – and how surreal it still feels. Wanna know what will kick that feeling of being just on the verge of an anxiety attack right over into full-blown WHAT HAVE I DONE?
One little post on social media, from a real-life friend who happens to be KIND OF A BIG DEAL in the Rennie world saying she can’t wait to start the new trilogy in the picture she posted: The Nature Walker Trilogy. She is about to find out about Gin and Sath and Orana and all the rest. The horrible little voice in my head says that I am about to be exposed as the imposter I am. Exposed – by someone that is my friend.
Now, all of us living in the rational world know that none of the drama described in the above paragraph is realistic. She may hate the trilogy. But she may also love it. In fact, there is a good chance that she will love it. And if she doesn’t, my world will not end. Right?
There is a good chance that a lot of people would love it, and if only I would GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY and let them experience it then they will love it and share it with their friends. But that’s the rub – getting out of my own way. I suppose this is something that all writers (and artists and dancers and anyone of a creative ilk) have to face. The tiny voice in my head is firmly standing in the way of me returning to dance class. But on the positive side, the tiny voice in my head kept me from following a traditional publishing route, and so far I’m quite pleased with the results of indie publishing (or self-publishing). I have a great team that provides me feedback and editing and creative support – a team that the tiny voice can’t touch. One dissenting voice in the face of a supportive chorus is drowned out most of the time.
I hope that my friend’s post on social media will lead to more people giving Gin’s story a try and falling in love with her and Orana. But most of all I hope she enjoys the story because that’s why I wrote it and published it – for people to experience and enjoy. All the wow moments pale in comparison to that.