So Simon and I headed to Sainsbury’s last night to do our weekly shop, right? Nothing out of the ordinary there, really. We got the trolley, got the items on the list, got tired of being there and got ready to leave.
“Don’t forget toilet roll and kitchen roll,” he says. We head to that aisle. I head for the kitchen roll first. A grape hits me soundly in the side of the head.
Yep, that’s what I said. A Grape. Hit Me. Soundly. In.The.Head. I don’t know who threw it, but the sucker hit my head so hard it split before bouncing off the ground in front of us.
On the plus side, Sainsbury’s is living up to their promise to stock fresh produce. On the minus side, that grape was so fresh it was almost under-ripe and it left a sore spot on my head just above my right ear.
We recovered from the anonymous grape assault and made our way to the tills. Very nice young man who is ringing up our groceries drops both the two liter diet cokes over the side and onto the floor. I literally saw them falling in slow motion. Nice young man apologises. I scoop those up, hand them to him, and run back to fetch two more that aren’t shaken nor stirred.
On the way back, I decided to further fetch the offending fruit that, in my dazed post-assault stupor, I had left on the kitchen roll shelf. Two diet cokes and a grape in my arms, I turn up back at the till…and proceed to drop one of the diet cokes.
By now Very Nice Young Man is grinning like a fool until I hand him the grape and explain how it came from the skies to rap me on the side of my noggin and could he please throw it away? He graciously took it, apologising, as we gathered our groceries and headed for the exit.
I wonder why Simon was in a slight hurry to get out of the store?