I’m still here, though I admit I’m finding few things to write about for Brave Lettuce these days. I guess I’m finally seeing the benefits to keeping some bits of my life personal, and learning that not everyone wants to know each time I break a fingernail or how often my Profile takes to spinning like a top in the living room.
I would like to say that in the two months I’ve lived here I’ve settled into life in Montgomery, but that isn’t true. The longer I’m here, the more I long for a life that is settled and permanent…the kind of life that I thought I’d be living when I thought about my future back in the day, when I was in my 20s. I guess no one’s life turns out like they plan it, and everyone has static now and then.
But lest you think that I’m sinking back down off that proverbial plateau again, there are some quite positive things happening in my life. I have a meeting (via telephone) on Friday of this week with Scott and a lawyer, so finally we can get this divorce thing on the docket and moving toward resolution. I don’t quite know what to think about it really. I’m not sad, as in I’d like to remain married to Scott, I’m sort of in disbelief I suppose. I’m having some of the same feelings as before when we first decided on divorce…this sort of thing doesn’t happen to me and I’m going to be a divorced woman and all that. But really…it’s almost more unreal because it doesn’t seem necessary. Scott and I have lived apart far longer than the mere year we’ve physically lived apart, so in a way it feels as though we’re already over and done with everything. I don’t know…I suppose we’ll see what happens on Friday.
The other good thing is that I’ve gained a very wonderful friend. Although I haven’t yet met him in person, he comes very highly recommended by a dear friend of mine and from his emails and our phone calls she was spot on in her description. The only snag is that he lives around 3,000 miles away from me in the UK…but that hardly matters these days, does it? The world is a much smaller place than it used to be, and all I really care about is how I am currently sporting a silly grin and can’t seem to speak about him without my face lighting up like a Christmas tree (or so I’m told). He’s a charming, wonderful, amazing man, and he thinks that I’m special as well. We’ll see…I’m a guarded hopeful at this point.
Off to continue cleaning the house and finishing laundry. “Mah Sistahs” are coming to visit this coming Friday and I can’t wait. The world is a smaller place, to be sure, but sometimes even the gap between me and them in NC or me and my family in GA seems insurmountable. I am trying to learn some patience and acceptance. Trying. We’ll see how that works out…