I’ve got a lighter and I know how to use it…

I want to set fire to my head, and with the amount of chemicals I’ve applied to my hair in the short time since I’ve been out of the shower, I think it would make for a mighty fine blaze.

I have naturally unruly hair (some parts are curly and some parts are wavy and ne’er the twain shall meet nor lie flat) and have tried for some 34-odd years to find a hairstyle that is both easy to care for and doesn’t make me look like someone landed a beach ball atop my shoulders. Short short short hair always looks fun until I try to style it. Somehow the run-a-comb-through-it and go that the stylist did never works for me and I end up looking quite mushroomy.

I love long hair…if for no other reason, it slims the face. It is also easy to pull back in a ponytail or bun if you’re having a bad hair day. However…once you reach oh, I don’t know, 34 and you’ve been pulling your hair back in a ponytail every day almost for many many many years you start to notice wee broken hairs around your forehead. Broken, unruly, slightly grey and corkscrewy hairs that will not respond to any sort of coercion save yanking the buggars out.

I got a fantastic haircut last summer…in San Antonio. I don’t live in San Antonio, I don’t even live anywhere near Texas, so going back to that fabulous woman who cut my hair exactly the way I’d wanted for YEARS is out of the question.

I have not had my hair cut since then. July of 2005. The unruly has become the stuff of nightmares. And I have only made it worse.

Garnier Sleek and Shine is the only thing I’ve found that will hold the frizz in check. The Only Thing. I’d forgotten how badly my hair wants to frizz…neeeeeds to frizz…until I stepped outdoors in South Carolina in July. Hello, my name is Nancy, and I am a poodle. Even the Garnier stuff isn’t a sufficient barrier to Southern Humidity. I think it was manufactured in the north.

So we’re trying some gel today, Herbal Essence so it smells good anyway. I don’t hold out hope because one thing I know gel does is dry your hair. Dry+frizz=Bride of Frankenstein without the stripes.

Maybe I’ll just wear a hat.

5 thoughts on “I’ve got a lighter and I know how to use it…”

  1. Cut it off. 🙂 In London I don\’t worry about my hair because it\’s going to get wet and/or wind blown the minute I step out of the door anyway.

  2. Of course, cut it off says she of the perfectly coiffed head!! LOL I am only gonna be in London for a week though… 🙂

  3. So I got my hair cut last Friday afternoon…pictures to follow, but only of the back so you can see how LONG it was before I let Rainman The Hairdresser go after it.Also, I will admit that I was wrong about SC having the worst heat and humidity on the planet. Montgomery, Alabama, is the surface of the Poodle Headed Sun.

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