Monday again. I’m still trying to figure out when I’m going to wake up from the dream that was this past weekend.
Friday night is an absolute blur. I was going back and forth between playing on the computer and holding Zooey and crying my eyes out. Saturday morning was crazy…I went to the McDonald family gathering (Mom’s side, once every 3 months or so) at my parents’ place in Cleveland, Georgia after dropping Zooey off with Scott to go to the vet for the last time. Cried a little on the way down but not too much. “Car Talk” and “Whaddaya Know” kept me entertained and distracted.
At about 1pm I started fooling with Daddy’s computer to get set up to watch Daisy’s first official maiden race. My cousins Margaret and Kristen were there to watch with me and I think Margaret really enjoyed it!! Daisy didn’t do so well…you can read about it here.
After everyone left Daddy and I took a load of my stuff up to the storage building behind my grandmother’s house, I grabbed dinner with them and then headed home. Somehow things are always worse in the dark, and as I was hurtling down the mountain from Cleveland to Toccoa I was overtaken by sobs. I was so afraid that Zooey was not going to forgive me for breaking my promise to him…that I would figure out what was wrong with him and make him better.
Somewhere around Westminster, SC, I had a revelation. I did make him better. He didn’t hurt anymore. What I was feeling that was making me cry was just my own selfishness at wanting to have him around forever. I made it home by about 9:30 and played Everquest till I was falling out of my chair asleep.
Yesterday was another blur. Funny how only Saturday, the day he left, has any clarity. I know that I got some things done, I know that I slept a lot…but now it’s Monday again, first Monday without Zooey yodeling to me while I’m in the shower.
I guess I could encourage Mills to sing…