The link above is to Amy’s recount of the Gattitown excursion this past Saturday. She left out that Kalyne and I went with them and were witness to Drew’s white-knuckling of the pole on his carousel horse as well as the moment when he learned how to swipe the Gattitown cards that are used to ride the various attractions and play games. Good on ya, Nephew…now go for the one with the numbers in Mommy’s wallet…
Kalyne and I rode the bumper cars first, which for me was more a “spinning uncontrollably in circles in the corner” than a ride. You can’t go backward or forward, really, as the controllers move you either to the left or the right. I did learn that if you slam both of them forward at the same time you will hurtle yourself in somewhat of a forward position and if you do the same thing only backward you’re asking for a concussion.
Side note to my dear friend Kris: Yes, I remember what a concussion really is, and believe me, I could have given myself one on several attempts to move backward in that bumper car had my head not already been thrown to one side or another by someone else plowing into me. It truly is a wonder that I have a driver’s license.
Next came a round of Air Hockey. I play this at the hospital sometimes with the patients. Easy enough, I thought.
Square off with Kalyne “I am going to make you bleed even though this isn’t a real ice rink and the puck is only an inch thick” Lynch across an Air Hockey table and see if you don’t come away visibly shaken and crying for your mommy! She beat me, obviously, and even overcame the two shots I made where the puck came off the table. Seems I haven’t gotten over the problem that started in my college billiards class where the ball became airborne a few times. Luckily that mom grabbed her kid out of the way before the puck became one with her noggin, but I digress…
After that we headed for Skee Ball, otherwise known as The Only Thing In An Arcade That Nan Can Do Well. I managed to beat “mah Thug” with a score of 28,000, and I choose not to notice that at the start of the round that produced that score the machine started me with 2,000 points. Technicality, I say. Not worth more than a cursory mention.
When we had fended off the sad looking little boy standing behind us that wanted our skee ball machine for as long as we could, we took in a few rounds of hoops. I have never liked that game for several reasons: 1. I normally can’t get the ball through the hoop if I’m standing above it and place it there. 2. I’m really afraid of games that might injure my hands, and a plethora of basketballs hurtling toward my fingers just doesn’t seem that safe. 3. Charles used to want me to play that with him and he always beat me into a pulp due to his freakish talent with a basketball. I swear I used to think the machine saw him coming and would just give up on the spot.
We played the basketball one till it broke, literally…either that or time truly can stand still because there were seven seconds left on the clock for about fifteen minutes. Once I pried Kalyne off the basketballs I hopped onto a video game that simulates skateboarding. Did you know that when you hit something on one of those games, there is an announcer that goes “Aw Man…” so loud I bet my mother heard it in Cleveland, Georgia? Nothing got by that announcer, and by the time I got to the bottom of the “run” on my head, my toon got up and put her face in her hands.
Last was another round of Air Hockey, and this time Kalyne took pity on me I think. My puck only came off the table once during that round but she still beat me. For all her work and effort, she came away with a green, fully posable alien, a lovely Chinese fan, and a teeny purple see through ninja…whom I quickly defeated when I hit the gas and he fell off my dashboard. Haha, secret ninja power is no match for the might of the HONDA!
Maybe I did hit my head too hard on those bumper cars after all…