Near Crisis and Homicide Averted

My regular readers know that the painting of the outside of my house has been an ongoing struggle/occurance since I signed the lease back in November. The experience has taught me to have a backbone, to not be afraid to shut the door in someone’s face while he/she is talking, and to never take anything for granted, like a closed gate.

I would like to direct your attention to the archives where it is recorded that Profile ran away from my house one morning because my gate had been left open. I didn’t leave the gate open, mind you…the person painting my house did. I knew I should have gone ahead and gotten that padlock, I just knew it, but I didn’t.

Today when I got home from work, the person had returned and was set up on my front porch, painting the front door. I came in, locked the door, and went to let the dogs out. Thankfully I thought to myself, “Self, you know that even though you’ve told him over and over to shut the gate he never does, so you’d better check it.”

The gate was standing open.

It took all my resolve just to walk over and shut the gate and not run around to the front of the house and…well, do something very ugly and probably illegal in several states to him with the paintbrush in his hand. Instead, I shut and latched the gate and let the dogs out as usual. When the “painter” (I use quotes because I’m about 150% sure he isn’t a professional) let me know he was leaving, I told him to make sure he shut the gate. He had the nerve to say he had, but apparently I have inherited the superpower my mother used to have that would render you incapable of lying when she looked at you just the right way. He admitted to having “maybe” left it open “one time” and shuffled off my porch as I slammed the door.

Crisis=dog getting out…that would have lead to a homicide on the front porch.

Just the railing and the floor of the porch to go and the nightmare will be over…

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